8.04.2005

Eve's dreams


It seems that my subconscience is worried about Adam getting mad at me. I've had two nights in a row that I did drugs in my dream and at the end of the dream I tell Adam. He does not react well to me telling him. The first one he just left. The second one, he just seemed disappointed.

The night before last I dreamed that I was meeting Adam's friends. They forced coke under my nose (not realistic) and I snorted it. Adam saw me do it and ran out. Why was he not mad at his friends? Who knows. Its what my head makes up. His friends all seemed like tv characters and a girl in the dream shoved it at my nose. My nose was covered with coke. What sucked the most in the dream was seeing others around me doing it and having the craving for more. I was worried about Adam, but I wanted more. By the end of the dream I was shoving my face in a pillow trying to ignore the other people in the room doing coke.

Tonight I had a dream that I was in my home town. This was where I had most of my drug problems. I was visiting people I use to know. Now that I'm awake, I realize they were people my head made up. There was a guy and a girl. The guy in the dream was who I was friends with more. We went to some person's house. There were alot of people standing around smoking weed. I thought, 'What the hell, I'll smoke.' So I smoked. I was stoned and the girl with me was pissing me off. I had a realization while I was stoned that these people sucked and I left. The only problem was that I had no car and I could not find my shoes. So I walked out of the house, in only socks, and started walking through the neighborhood. I knew that my parents' house was not too far off (in reality they do not live thier anymore). The dream swtiched to where I was walking around in the place I live at now. I was constantly avoiding broken glass on the ground and wishing that I had known where my shoes were and where my car was. Then Adam pulled up. He was wondering why I was walking around in just my socks. I started off telling him the story, but I did not get past telling him that I was stoned. He did not want to hear anymore. I was trying to tell him it was like the crazey stuff that usually happened in my hometown, but he did not want to listen. That was the end of the dream.

I think it is a good sign that I am dreaming about the negative effects of using drugs. For instance, making Adam mad. Also possibly wandering around with no shoes avoiding broken glass. I think that you have to worry if you have those dreams where there's cocaine everywhere and you are having a party with your friends and there are no worries and all of that crap. So, I'm not really too worried. I'm just wondering what will happen in my dream tonight. Will I be wondering around with Amnon smoking meth and run into Adam then have him leave me again in the dream. Maybe he'll kick Amnon's ass in the dream. Meth is one substance I do not want to dream about though. Especially with Amnon.

That is it for now.
God bless and good day.

(link to art)

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