Christmas Eve

It is Christmas time and I can hardly believe it. It sneaks up on you when you live in a setting with no real seasons. Seeing the time I am typing tonight I will be surprised if I make it to midnight mass this evening.

I don't quite have the spirit. If I thought to much of it, it would probably bring me to tears. The virgin birth, our savior coming to earth. I start thinking of how miraculous any birth is. I asked for family members to donate to pro-life charities. They didn't take it seriously. I would prefer to give chance for life coming in this world than any material gift though. Children are so precious and yet are greatly devalued. The common person was insulted by my suggestion. It does break my heart when I hear their outcry against pro-life, its against life in general.

I haven't put anything political here before. I didn't mean to do so either. I had a picture of myself going to mass tonight and tears streaming down my face. Its mostly emotions. I do acknowledge that, but is it really that bad.

I think of Mary and all I think of is I pray for a similar gift. I pray for the gift of child. I think there is no better gift to have. Isn't that part of what this is about? Our lord and savior was born to this world in the setting of a manger and a young mother, scared and making her way with a new life and husband. This is birthday celebration. Jesus was born.

I don't know if I'm making sense. I need sleep. I continue to pray that the Lord will bless me with child. I would give everything I have for this. I was thinking of that today. What is this job to me, what is most without having a family. Mary, pray for me.

To a wonderful Christmas Eve....